JUNE 30, 2019.

I’m always curious to know how someone gets into writing. Is it suggested to them by someone they know, were they always interested in it, or did it just happen on a whim? My story is a little bit of all three.

I am excellent at reading other people’s emotions and when I walk into a room, I read each person like a book. It’s my own emotions that I have a hard time reading. And I think that’s okay, but I need to do some emotional digging every once in a while too. For a long time I thought I was a thinker, not a feeler because I just didn’t feel internal emotion like other people. What I’ve learned in my journey with MBTI and self-realization/self-acceptance is that I just don’t really care what I’m feeling. I’ll sacrifice my own needs for others every single time. There’s nothing wrong with that either, as long as those people are willing to do the same for me. And sadly, most of them are not.

So why did I start writing? That’s the purpose of this post. Well, I started writing because a few friends suggested it might be a good way to find out how I feel about things. Journaling is something I’ve always wanted to do but I just never forced myself to sit down and do it. I think it feels a little selfish to me to write about my feelings. And it is, and it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. It also happened on a whim. I just decided one day to start writing.

Writing can be such a blessing to those of us who only care about how others feel and ignore our own emotions. I had someone recently call me selfish and I was kind of shocked. I don’t say so much of what I’m thinking to maintain harmony in the room or in the group. I’m super quick to apologize and I am constantly telling people to think about the group. I also just said to a friend of mine that their individual ambitions don’t matter that much if it only helps them. Everything we do should better the people around us.

Now, as some with depression, it can be easy for me to be concerned with myself, but that’s not who I am naturally. I’d rather have others be happy and I want to give them a good experience.

Writing has helped me with my depression and anxiety and even if you don’t struggle with those things, writing can help you forge a path that you want to be on and help you understand how you’re feeling and why you do the things you do. And it’s just fun too. So, today, this week, whenever, take a few minutes to write what you’re thinking and feeling and you’ll be surprised what you come up with.

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